mombie
Dear diary…
Last night we had another sleepless night. Amy has colics. We are giving her medicine for it, but you know what it’s like, it doesn’t go away that fast. On top of that, she also has intense reflux, which means she brings up milk the second I put her down. My poor little girl is in so much pain, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.
Because of this, we had to move to another room, and Bryan and Alessia are sleeping in their room. Alessia is so upset that I’m not there with her, you cannot imagine. She doesn’t even look at me in the morning. I’m their mother, and there’s nothing I can do for either one.
It’s been a few days since we brought Amy home, everything is great apart from nighttime. However, neither one of my girls can settle. If one falls asleep, the other screams and wakes up the first one. It’s an endless cycle. The tiredness is real.
I don’t remember it being this hard with Alessia. Although, we got lucky with her. She didn’t have colics, she rarely brought up milk, she was sleeping throughout the night like a little angel. And there was nobody else we had to take care of, so she could have screamed from the pit of her lungs, nobody else would wake up, you know?
Even Cookie (the beagle) is running away from us now, she is sleeping with my mother half the night. I remember those nights awake with Alessia. Cookie was sleeping downstairs, hahaha. Honestly, Cookie looked more tired than both Bryan and me, it was hilarious. And Peanut (the kiten) does not dare to climb the stairs. He comes, says hello, purrs on everybody, and then leaves.
Why did we think this would be easy? There’s only 19 months gap between them. Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. I mean… it’s never easy. When we had just Alessia, we thought it was hard. Now that we have Alessia and Amy, it’s even more challenging. Taking care of both of them at the same time is impossible now. Amy needs to be fed quite often, and Alessia needs our attention, she needs to go out and play, to interact.
In the meantime, I am turning into a mombie. I can barely open my eyes, keeping them open is a whole other business. I’ve never been this tired in my life, and I stayed awake for 3 days straight just for the fun of it. White nights used to be fun, now they are a nuisance. LOLO, I feel old at 27.
Dark circles under my eyes are just the new trend, and all my clothes smell like vomit. Don’t think that the jeans are any better, Alessia puts food on them, and playdough and everything that stains, basically.
Being a mother is so hard, at times impossible, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
